Freedom and Dreamland

My co-worker was out the past two days and I feel like I got more done without her ass. I enjoyed it a lot.

Dreams:
I dreamed I was at a store near where my ex lives and he was there. Apparently he worked there. He asked me what I was doing there and I told him his store had what I was looking for. He seemed skeptical. Not sure why. I patted him gently on the forehead to try and let him know that everything was okay.

I dreamed we were in a video game. I forgot which game it was but there were zombies everywhere. I knew it was a game but it still scared me a lot and I didn't like it because of my bad nerves. There was one part where one of the dudes let himself get infected so that he could fight them or something. He turned into a snake and I smashed up his snake body before I destroyed his human head. It was strange. There was also something about a cat and that we lost a lot of people when the zombies attacked us.

I dreamed that I was at Eric's house. His mom called his cell phone and he was talking to her. I asked him something and he was trying to whisper to me so that his mom wouldn't hear. Eventually she hung up on him and called the house phone. She was being a real pain to Eric so he took a sharp thing and sliced his wrist open. He did it a few times and then we went downstairs so he could put his blood all over her car.

I have some wild ass dreams man.

My Journey

I am 125 pounds. Whoo! So excited. I can't wait to be 120 again, and then 115, 110, and finally 105. XP Root for me!

Also I dreamed about pot last night. A pot club with rules and stuff. It was really wild.

Recently:

Things have been well recently for the most part. I haven't been feeling 100% myself because of this pain I get in my ovary area every month, but I'm okay. I'm happy, I have my puppy, the weather is nice (as in HOT D: ), and yeah. So on the overall, everything is amazing.

Oh yeah, meet Eric: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcERkKF1k1M

Dream Land

I was hanging out with Jason's mom, she took me home to their place and I was hanging out. I was using my computer in their kitchen and it made them mad. I wanted to leave and see Eric but I didn't want him to know I was at Jason's first. I was trying to turn off the music to my computer too, but it wouldn't turn off. (This was due to the fact that I had music playing when I fell asleep.)
Then I moved in with this girl who calls herself Kai (the real Kai is a boy). I wanted to see Eric but she wouldn't let me. I don't remember what happened but she wanted me. So we were fighting for my freedom. I think Eric tried to help but I didn't want him to. So he was helpless on the sidelines as I fought to the death with this psycho who became Pink. Yes, she became Pink of all people. I kept giving her lethal blows and she was playing unfair by staying alive. I grabbed a pole and shoved it THROUGH her eye and the back of her skull and she kept coming. I cut her head in HALF and she kept coming. Then a police officer came and asked me what happened. I told him and he kissed me a couple of times telling me I should be more safe, that I should use protection as well (I told him that I had sex with her). I thought it was weird the cop kissed me. Eric and Pink were there but the cop had me in a way that no one could see that he was kissing me. Then he took the girl away and I woke up.

Buu~ u.u

So I got some clothes to-day because I really needed shorts and they were soooo cute! But they were also a size 9/10 and 11. Which made me feel fat. D: BUT- They were hip shorts, so of course it'd be bigger since I have wide hips. Still, made me feel fat. I also got some shirts and they were marked Large. WTH? >:| I hate the clothing industry.

STILL! They are all cute and awesome, so I'll live.


----
Why must things happen to you that I cannot remedy? You have no idea how much my heart aches.

Waist: 30

So give me a wewt wewt!

I lost 3 inches on my waist line! Yaaay! I can put on and take off my pants without opening them up! It is so cool and soooo goooood!!! XD

I'm so excited and I can't wait to go to the next meeting to see how much weight I lost. Everyone's been noticing it too; I look thinner!!!

I'm so excited, you have no idea. I'm going to be sexy in no time! XD

Wheeee.

Confused

So this may sound strange to anyone reading this but I am gender confused. It's hard to explain but I'll do my best.

I am a woman, first of all. I was born a woman and have all the woman parts. Theoretically, as this has not been tested, I can give birth.

At the same time, however, I feel as if I were a man sometimes. This is where is gets strange, heh. Sometimes I feel like I have the body of a man, and I know that I have the mentality of a man. There are so many things that I feel when I'm feeling this way. I feel as if I really know what it means to be a boy or man. I've asked a few guys I know what it's like and what they've told me is how I've felt before.

There are some days I wish I could dress like a boy but my body is too feminine. I have a woman's shape, a woman's face, and a woman's voice. Blah. Curse my body. XD

Aye, but don't be confused. I never want to turn myself into a boy. This is just how I feel sometimes. I love being a woman and I love my body (some days). I don't want to permanently change that at all. I just want to cut my hair, bind my chest, and pretend I am a boy. Heh.

I don't think I'll ever pull it off. Ah well, at least I got it off my chest.

Get it? XD I am so corny.

Insomnia

It sucks when you have to get up in the morning. But I don't have to get up in the morning. Still, my sleep schedule is destroyed.

Eric seems okay right now, I hope he continues to be okay.

I failed my math test. I'm sure my insomnia didn't help. I'm not used to failing tests so this kind of thing is bizarre in my head. I'm glad I'm too sleep deprived for the pain to truly sink in.


... I want a room now. D: Please?