Insomnia

It sucks when you have to get up in the morning. But I don't have to get up in the morning. Still, my sleep schedule is destroyed.

Eric seems okay right now, I hope he continues to be okay.

I failed my math test. I'm sure my insomnia didn't help. I'm not used to failing tests so this kind of thing is bizarre in my head. I'm glad I'm too sleep deprived for the pain to truly sink in.


... I want a room now. D: Please?

Tired

I haven't slept well for a while. Last night was the most sleep I got. Whoot. I spent some of this morning playing a fun game. Now I'm cleaning the sofa.

My memory is even more shot from the lack of sleep. I hope I can sleep more to-night but right now I feel tired from sleeping so much. That makes me mad. It makes me mad because I'm thinking that I might be up all night to-night because of it.

Grr.

Anyhow. Muffins will be soon. They are yummy and my office loves them. Mmm.


Oh boy, I have to have my innards scanned. I'm sure everything is okay, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Nerves.

My nerves tend to get the best of me. That's because this world is not right. A lot of us suffer from anxieties and fears that we shouldn't.

It's because none of us belong in this place. We created this place and it has put us so far out of place that we're all messed up, nervous, anxious, and on a lot more pills than any living should take.

My bad nerves are a product of this poorly designed place.

Dreams and Successes

Dream:
Zombies. Zombies came and were invading where I live. They were everywhere and I had to grab an old sword we have to chop their heads off. I went into the bedroom so I could lock myself in and keep myself safe. But they came in through the fire escape. Then, after they were gone, a two headed zombie said that we had missed one. I killed it and chopped up the heads of another two headed zombie.

Then they came again. It was winter. We had a better plan and set up. We set traps for the zombies to slow them down. I met up with Miriam and she had my rabbit. The people who were taking care of him had let him get sick and he had spores on his fur. I was brushing them off and these two girls started popping them open. I asked them what they were doing and they told me they were getting high. I popped one open to smell it and could see how they could get high. I hoped I didn't infect myself with the zombie disease. As I was going back to our shelter I was stepping over obstacles ("How have the rules changed?" "The zombies are smarter now.") and I think I dropped my rabbit. When I got inside I didn't have him anymore and I hoped he'd be okay. Our room had one side with windows and some survival things. I told someone I lost my rabbit and not to tell my friend Melissa.

I think I woke up before this dream ended. I need a gun.


Success: I lost 3 pounds my first week on Weight Watchers! I'm so exited. My stomach's getting used to this new diet of mine, however so it feels funny and little uncomfortable. But my cousin says it happened to her too and all my friends say I should wait it out, that I'll adjust. I'm so happy, I know I'll be a nice healthy weight soon!

Current weigh in: 128

Dream Land

Something about being in my old home. And something about my bank account being almost empty.

Then I was in toys r us or another form of toy shop. They were having a huge sale and they were selling these dinosaur toys. They made me think of Eric so I climbed to the top of the shelf to get one of everything. There was another shopper there looking to buy the toys too. One of the dinosaurs was called "Marijuana Sauras" or something to that effect. I think there was a g instead of an h. "Mariguana." It still meant the same thing. Then there was a big big dinosaur book. I grabbed it too hoping Eric didn't have one and brought it to the register. The guy tells me it'll be about a dollar something without the striped pencil and 6 dollars and something with it. I look at the pencil and decide I don't want it. It has the word "Staples" engraved into it. The guys tries to sell it to me and I say no.

I also remember thinking that I'm going to regret carrying the big book around but it was for Eric after all.

Weight Watchers

So I've been on Weight Watchers for the past 5 days. It's not that hard really, it's a sensible way to lose weight. It's also not a diet, in fact they want you to eat more! So now I'm making a menu for myself daily so that I can eat a lot of food without going over my POINTS allowance. It's easy and nice and the food they offer is yummy. :3

If you want to lose weight you should try. I plan on being 102 pounds in the next 4-5 months! Root me on! I'll be keeping a countdown of my weight too!

Last weigh-in (Sat, July 11): 131

Dream Land

We (me and a few friends) were at my step dad's old job. There was lots and lots of junk and things we were digging through. Some of it was cool, some not so cool. I found a small bed-like thing and tried to lay down on it. It was too small, I saw there was another section for it so I put it together and that made it long enough. Then it deflated and my friend told me she took it. I told her I wanted it back so she gave it back.

Then I was with my step dad and we were looking through my mom's old things. I remember her having some sort of mascot for the US Open. She had one it years ago in some sort of lottery. So I kept looking and looking and eventually found it. My step dad was getting sad and not wanting to talk about it. I was trying to figure out what year it was from and other things. There was a short scene where I was being miffed about not being able to use a computer at a hotel.

Then I was with this girl who loved purple more than anything. She took me to a dress shop and we were looking around. There were necklaces with animal heads. I chose a pink bunny head. She picked out a dress for me but it was blue. Still, it was nice and I pressed it against me to see how it looked. I started dancing around and imagining it was pink. It was so magical and nice. I could see it in pink so very clearly. I asked her if she could get it for me in pink (she was taking me shopping). A few times in the dream I "woke up", but every time I still had the necklace, only it was purple. We kept looking around the shop and we went to the register. She asked if there was anything else I want. In the display under the register were Sailor Moon items. One one them was a box of all the characters in chibi version with angel wings. Another one was Sailor Chibi Moon's wand! I looked at the price and it seemed fair. I opened the box to see the wand and it was so nice. I pressed a button and you could hear Chibi Moon go, "Moon spiral heart attack!" Which isn't what it's supposed to say but that's okay.

Then we were outside walking to my building. I looked up and saw a shooting star! I tried to tell my friend but she looked too late. I made a wish and slowly after that I woke up.

Livid

So my aunt has been avoiding me for months after we made an agreement for me to move in with her and pay her almost half her rent. Every so often I would ask her to talk to me, so we could talk it over or whatever. She never just tells me "no". She never says, "I change my mind."

So I go to hang out with my cousin Angela who is watching my aunt's place and she finds out. She flips her shit and calls her daughter to come over and kick us out. She doesn't tell anybody that she's sending her kid over. So all of a sudden, she (our cousin April, my aunt's daughter) comes in and kicks us out and treats us like shit basically.

My aunt sends me an e-mail on Face Book declaring that I was "trying out her place". Implying, basically, that I was trying to move in. I didn't even know I wasn't "allowed in the house" anymore. No one was ever told anything about me and the fact that I was banned from the place

She posts on Angela's Face Book saying that, "...family might try to move in or bring strangers into your home."

Angela was never told she couldn't hang out at the place, nor was she ever told she couldn't have friends or family over. My aunt wasn't mad at her, nor did she say anything, when she found out that Angela had her boyfriend over. So what the fuck?

Not to mention, she's acting like I kept begging her to move in when all I was doing was trying to figure out whether or not I was. We had an agreement, if she changed her mind she should have let me know.

Lucky!

I got my Metamorphose lucky pack items to-day! Yay! Meta ships super fast! Wow!

So I got a red hoodie, a pink hoodie, a pair of socks, keychains, and a pair of shorts.

I'm very happy with all of my things! Now to lose some inches so the shorts will fit me!

Dress and shoes!

HOMG SHOES!

Anyhow. I was walking home yesterday when I saw the delivery man with his truck. I asked him if he stopped by my building and he looked at me while thinking. He remembered my name and said that he had a box he tried to deliver to another address but the people who answered didn't cooperate with my name.

You see, I spell it as Stephanny, so when the delivery man comes around he sees it and remembers it. Good thing too, for some reason he read the address as 3647 when it's 3447. It was strange that he read it wrong since the two 4s look the same and since down the line the apartment number is there and reads "6x". The 6 written down is 100% different from the two 4s. XD

Oh well, I got my box! That's what matters!

So I go upstairs and open it to see my dress packed nice and tight in this little box. I take it out to see my shoes underneath. I open the shoebox and die. Really, just died. They are soooo pretty! Holy cow! I love them!!!

Then I took out my dress from the wrapping and put it on in full Lolita gear. Oooo I am so cute! Heehee. Pics? Sure!

Me in my dress.